I don’t, I did. I wished, and I failed.

i closed my eyes and hoped, but disappointment, right after had to come.

went downtown to have fun, tried and you know what? it was somehow worse than the last time i recall. would like to say it was awesome, but awesome never is, if sober’s what you are. not saying you gotta kill your liver to have a good time, just saying is the only way to avoid seeing through everybody’s eyes. felt the pain tonight, felt the regret, felt anger.. luckily I can’t say was mine.

would like to sleep but i can’t, would like to pass out but I won’t.

my right foot is in pain, my tongue says the same.

the weird thing is, when it’s this late, It could happen to forget. forget this year’s events and think everything’s cool and okay like the good old fucking “same”. it happens to forget, we are no longer the same, we’ve moved on somehow alone, and not coming back to get some shit no more.

right now I’m in a good place, everything’s fine and I’m relaxed. there’s nothing I could ask for, there’s nothing I haven’t already got.

I was yours, now I’m not. that makes me happy, or maybe I’m wrong. I’m so sure I’m not alone, even if love has left this home. as you said it took a train, the last train outta my heart.

can’t really say I’m my old same, because I’m older and not the same. all my cells had been changed, not even biologically I’m the same.